Are People in Your Life Helping You Bloom? Or Choking You Like a Weed?

The people you hang out with influence your thoughts, actions, habits, choices and even what you dream of for your own life.

There are real benefits of spending time with positive, supportive people who are confident and are authentically interested in both their own and your personal growth.

When you surround yourself with people who have positive qualities, you are likely to also embrace those qualities.

Sail boat on the sea - time to think!


The opposite is also true… hang out with Negative Nancies and you’ll likely become more negative.

Think about the people you spend time with.

  • Are they someone you’d choose as a mentor?
  • Do you have similar aspirations?
  • Do you respect their character?
  • Are they actively trying to better themselves?
  • When together, are you doing fun, positive, healthy things that make you feel awesome?

Weed So You Can Bloom

A garden is a great metaphor for your life.

As you go through life planting and growing your garden, some people will bring great joy, while others will bring you down.

Positive, supportive people are like sunshine and fertilizer who help you grow into an even better you. In each new season of life, they help you bloom into an even more beautiful wildflower.

Negative people are like weeds – their negative attitude grows fast and fiercely, and it can choke your work at growing a positive mindset and getting the life you truly desire.

Might it benefit you to spend less time with someone in particular?

Some people you can’t eliminate from your life, but you can:

  • Recognize how they negatively influence you
  • Try to keep a healthy distance

Need more sunshine and fertilizer? Here’s a really good article about How to Build a Circle of Support for Your Life.

Do you show up as sunshine or a weed?

Providing encouragement, lifting people up, and generally being supportive is a real win-win.

The lucky recipients of your positive support will get a boost to continue toward being the best person they can be. Bringing out the good in people will in return help you feel good about yourself.

It’s a real gift to be the reason someone smiles, as well as being a shoulder for support.

Tips For Being a Supportive Friend

Friends talking and supporting each other

Here are a few ways you can be a sunshine for people. (On the flip side, these are qualities you want in a support person for your life!)

  1. Listen. Really listen! Listen to understand, not to offer your solution or one-up their situation.
  2. Be compassionate. When she thinks she messed up, show up as her best cheerleader. Remind her that setbacks are more often setups for something bigger and better.
  3. Perspective. Help someone see their situation from a different perspective – put a positive spin on it. (Do this after they’ve had time to process their feelings.)
  4. Reminisce about a past experience where the other person brought you great joy. Savor the memory!
  5. Believe in that person and voice it… even if she can’t yet believe in herself.
  6. Acknowledge that person for small steps she has taken so she can see that she has made progress. Small steps help gain momentum and can quickly turn into giant leaps.
  7. Smile! Laugh! Have fun!

Choose Wisely, and Bloom!

Choose to spend time with people who make you feel fantastic about yourself and inspire you to improve and make your dreams a reality!

And when you find one or two people like this, be grateful because they are a real blessing in your life. Take it a step further and tell them that you appreciate them, and be specific as to why you appreciate them.

4 Replies to “Are People in Your Life Helping You Bloom? Or Choking You Like a Weed?”

  1. I love the weeding idea – I think the pandemic and enforced social distancing here in the UK have actually helped to prioritise which friends are negative and which are positive and given us a breather to gather our thoughts and feelings. I miss socialising but it has been nice to have a breather!

    1. Hi Linda, thanks so much for sharing your insight on how pandemic life might have changed us. I agree with you that we’ve had space to assess from a much different perspective. Now we can see who we do better when we’re distanced, who we particularly miss, and maybe even people who we’ve even introduced to in these crazy times. I know I have people who fall into all of those categories!

  2. Hi Ellen!

    I enJOYed this article!

    My motto for the month….Weed So You Can Bloom!

    1. “Weed so you can bloom” – LOVE IT! Thank you so much for the comment, and keep on blooming Barb. 🙂

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