How to Overcome Negative Thoughts & Increase Inner Joy

Think about the people in your life: family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc.

  • Do you know people who always seem to have some problem and tend to ride on the negative side?
  • Do you know others who tend to be happy campers and generally positive about life?
  • Which type of person do you want to hang out with?
  • Most importantly, which type of person do YOU want to be?

Are you ready to become that person who is generally positive about life? Are you ready to see the glass half full, not half empty? Are you ready to wake up excited for the day because you’ve got inner joy that will reign even when things don’t go perfect?

The Law of Attraction states that you will attract into your life (whether wanted or unwanted) whatever you give your attention to.  It’s the belief that your thoughts create your experiences.

Our focus acts like a magnet; whatever we put our attention on expands in our life. Building a health habit of what you do with your thoughts can empower you to ultimately increase your inner joy.

The Thing that Deflates Your Joy is…

Your Negative Thoughts! We all encounter people in our daily life who influence how we feel. However, the biggest bad influence in life may not be other people; its your own negative thoughts.

Negative thoughts and emotions  generally suck the joy right out of any moment. Worry, jealousy, resentment, and hate don’t improve our happy-factor.

Negative self-talk is extremely disempowering. It can keep you from attracting all the great things that life offers, especially from being a happy person.

Even worse is when you keep focusing on the negative thoughts and let momentum build to the point where you make a mountain out of a molehill.

Doesn’t Everyone Have Negative Thoughts?

Yes, of course we all have negative thoughts at times. It’s what we choose to do with them that determines how they will impact us.

It doesn’t mean you deny or suppress feelings that likely are coming from some sort of fear. Fear is a natural response, yet you can choose to take steps every day to get beyond the fear.

With the Law of Attraction, your thoughts can make the difference between successfully manifesting or not… increasing joy or staying stuck.

Think about it this way; compare your mindset to setting a thermostat. Whatever number you set it at, you’re likely to stick to that number. So if you let your negative thoughts run wild, you’re going to stick with that negative mindset. Set your “thermostat” to a positive mindset, and you’re going to more naturally come back to a more positive, higher energy.

Lady on swing experiencing inner joy


The first step in controlling negative thoughts is to be aware of those thoughts. Once you become aware of something,  you then have the power to change it.

Negative thought triggers bad emotion. The moment you become aware that you’re not feeling good emotionally, take a minute to become consciously aware of your thoughts.

Realize that your negative thought is not helping you.

Knowing that you don’t feel good is your first step in the right direction. If you know you don’t feel good, you can take steps to feel better.

If you read my post about the Law of Attraction, you know that after only 17 seconds of thought, another similar thought joins your thoughts. A little negative thought will quickly roll into a big hairy deal if you keep talking about it or focusing on it.

It’s like there’s a matchmaker in your head. It sees your negative thought and instinctively brings another just like the first one!

Practice watching your thoughts and emotions so you become better able to more quickly catch and shift them.

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3 Habits to Nix Negative Thoughts & Pave a Path to Inner Joy

Woman walking a path in the mountains

What should you do when you’re aware that you’re having some negative emotion?

Stop those negative thoughts in their tracks!

Remember, it’s easier to stop negative thinking before it gets too strong and gains momentum.

Here are three habits that will set you up for long term success. Start taking these action steps TODAY!

1 – Is It Even True?

A thought is just a thought.

What does that mean? Let me explain with an example.

Let’s say that at this moment you’re having a thought about what your friend said to you. Your friend does not have that same thought and is not even thinking about her words. If you move on from that thought, it will literally not exist because it only ever existed within you.

Similarly, think about when you have an inner dialog with a bunch of negative self-talk. Things like “I always mess things up” or “I’m terrible at talking in meetings” are likely not true. Do you always do those things? Probably not. Might your thoughts be exaggerated or even made up? Sometimes you might make a mistake, and in those cases you’d benefit from a little self-compassion.

Giving focus to your thoughts makes a them feel real.

If you don’t give that thought your focus, it will disappear.

To take this a step further, take a look at this quote:

A belief is only a thought I keep thinking. ~ Abraham-Hicks

What point is Abraham-Hicks making with this quote that they repeat often?

When you want something and you keep thinking how you won’t get it, you’re likely to believe you won’t get it. Thus, you’ll keep yourself from getting what you desire.

Let go of those negative thoughts that result in limiting beliefs. Instead, think thoughts that support the belief that you will get what you desire.

2 – Reframe It!

When you realize your thoughts are going in a negative direction, reframe your negative thoughts into positive ones. Reframing helps you quickly guide yourself back to a happier place.

Instead of magnifying negative aspects in a situation, find the positive aspects of the situation.

Are you focused on what your DON’T want? Instead, shift that thought to what you DO want.

For example, “I don’t want to fight with my partner” shifts to “I want to be happy in my relationship.”

Focusing on what you DO want feels lighter, more peaceful, and more hopeful. Certainly you’d build inner joy with this shift in mindset.

Instead of thinking the worst case scenario, inch your way up the ladder of hope and purposely think a thought that is more hopeful.

For example, “I’m never going to get this right” turns into “I’m learning and improving every day.”

It’s also helpful to remember that sometimes joy requires that you need to let go of what you think life is supposed to look like and celebrate it for everything that it actually is. (Read my post, 3 Tips For How to “Let  Go” of the Little Things.)

Start practicing reframing with smaller emotions. You can actually retrain your brain and build your way up to reframing bigger emotions.

Read my post The Power of Positive Thinking for specific ideas on how to replace negative thoughts with more positive thoughts.

3 – Attitude of Gratitude

Woman filled with gratitude

If you have a negative belief or a mindset block that’s telling you that you can’t do something, gratitude is a powerful habit for you.

Focus on what you DO have in life and bring awareness to it. Take time to appreciate the big things and the little things.

How does it feel? How does it smell? What does it look like? Let it all fill you up so it gets into your cells!

As your focus is filled with gratitude, you’ll be better able to let go of the negative beliefs. Gratitude will expand! You’ll start to believe that you do deserve more of the good things and then more will flow to you.

Only YOU have control of your thoughts.

If you can’t replace those negative thoughts with positive ones, then distract yourself by thinking about something completely different. Sit down, relax, have a cup of tea, take a nap….whatever you need to do to distract yourself.

We each create our own reality – choose to make yours filled with joy.

Of course this all takes practice. But as you start letting go of the negative thoughts and get momentum going on positive thoughts, your outlook is going to be better and you will start to attract other positive people.

As you overcome negative thoughts and become naturally attracted to positively-focused people, you will naturally build more inner joy in your life.

I’m reminded of something my mentor told me…. in time, a suntan fades unless you go back into the sun. Same thing applies with shifting your negative thoughts; you need to continue to practice this mindset change or you’ll fade back into your old habits.  (Credit to Bill, my Fearless Living mentor.)

What can you do to remember to do these shifts in how you think, and create new habits that will increase your inner joy? (Leave a comment with your commitment to changing your habits that are keeping you stuck in a negative mindset!)

Need Support?

Get support for yourself if you’re serious about improving your mindset so you can have the inner joy you deserve. Do you have a friend or family member who can help hold you accountable to yourself?

If you’d like a coach’s support, contact me. I will help you get clarity on what is keeping you stuck, support you in your goals, and help you gain momentum in your steps forward to the life you deserve.

Joyful woman on dock

10 Replies to “How to Overcome Negative Thoughts & Increase Inner Joy”

  1. I try to focus on what God says about any situation, how He sees and loves the other person, what He says about His love for me. Philippians 4.8 says to dwell on those things that are good and pure and right and 2 Corinthians 10.3-5 says we’re to take our thoughts captive. Many people think we can’t control our thoughts, but we can. Thanks for reminding us of that truth.

  2. I really appreciate your post. There are so many times where the negativity spirals out of control and I feel myself shut down due to anxiety. I’m practicing though, and getting better everyday! Thanks for the inspiration. Have a great week!

    1. Hi Amanda, negativity really wears me down, too. Keep practicing and you will surely become a more positive person! Thanks for the comment.

  3. Great tips especially good for being in lockdown! My “favourite “ phrase from this post “Only You Have Control Of Your Thoughts”.

    1. Yes, this lockdown is something none of us have ever lived through nor even imagined, so inner joy has never been more important.

  4. Really great ideas here. So important with everything that is going on at the moment.

    1. It does take practice! Once you get used to feeling good, it gets easier to regulate. 🙂

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