Becoming my best self is something I’ve been working on for a few years. I’ve been educating myself by reading, listening to various audio material, and attending workshops. It’s been a path of trying my best to let go of old habits that weren’t serving me well, and adopting new habits that help me grow into a more calm, peaceful, and happy person. Overall, my goal is to just be happy with who I am and where I am in my life.
One habit I consciously noticed that I and many others do is flippantly saying (or even just thinking) things about ourselves that are negative in nature. Saying these things certainly do not make me feel good about myself, and the habit just fed negativity.
Most people don’t even realize the effect of these negative comments. The act of saying the negative comment is keeping you from attracting what you want into your life. Here are some examples of negative things you should stop saying, and how to replace them with more positive, encouraging comments or thoughts.
Don’t say: “I’ll never be good at that” or “I’ll never get that.”
Positive spin: With that attitude, you won’t get it. Instead, believe in yourself and always think positively. Give yourself a pep talk and tell yourself that you CAN do it! Inch your way to feeling more confident by softening your words. Use words that make you feel good about yourself. For example, say to yourself:
- “I’ve really improved.”
- “I’ve learned a lot and I’m doing pretty good.”
- “I can see myself being good at that.”
Don’t those words bring on a much better feeling than “I’ll never be good at that?” Be happy with where you are, and enjoy the journey to where you’re going. Continue with the pep talks each step along your path.
Don’t say: “I’m sorry!”
Positive spin: Saying I’m sorry when you truly need to apologize is of course a good thing. The “I’m sorry” that needs to stop is over apologizing when no apology is needed in the first place. I particularly hear this often from women more so than men. It’s said so quickly that I don’t believe they even realize they said it.
The feeling I get when people say this type of “I’m sorry” is they need to work on boosting their self-worth and believe that their opinion is valid and worthwhile. Hold your head high, shoulders back, and know that you are good just the way you are.
Don’t say: “I’m so fat.”
Positive spin: First, why even say something like that? You’re doing yourself a real disservice because that type of self-defeating comment (or even thought) will likely bring you exactly what you’re saying. Regardless of your weight, be kind to yourself. Make a list of positive aspects about yourself that have nothing to do with weight. Are you nice? Responsible? Friendly? Spiritual? Funny? Strong? Helpful? Be your best cheerleader!
After you get into the habit of appreciating the good things about yourself, you may be surprised at how healthy choices will naturally start coming to you. Take note of the healthy choices you make. You may very well start to attract people into your life who are supportive and will help you to a more healthy lifestyle.
Don’t say: “Nothing ever goes right in my life.”
Positive spin: Here again, be careful of what you’re attracting to your life. This attitude will attract failures, not successes. We all have so much good in our life. Even if you’re at the end of your rope, the sun still rises, plants still grow, and (to steal a saying by Abraham-Hicks) “things are always working out for you.” Read my post The Power of Positive Thinking for daily things you can do to make positive thinking a habit.
Becoming a Better You
Surround yourself with people who motivate you, help you stay positive, and who will inspire you to grow. Negativity can keep you from all the great things that life offers, especially from being a happy person who attracts good things into your life. Learn more about how to remove negativity from your life.
Do you have any hints for people to become their best self? Please leave a comment.