Becoming my best self is something I’ve been working on for several years. I’ve been educating myself by reading, listening to various audio material, and attending workshops.
It’s been a path of trying my best to let go of old habits that aren’t serving me well, and adopting new habits that help me grow into a more calm, peaceful, and happy person. Overall, my goal is to just be happy with who I am and where I am in my life. It’s a continual work in progress.
One habit I noticed that I and many others do is flippantly saying (or even just thinking) things about ourselves that are negative in nature.
Beating yourself up… that inner critic in your head… negative self-talk… putting yourself down… whatever you want to call it, it’s time to say good-bye to the self-destructive and disempowering voice in your head that steals your confidence and makes you feel bad about yourself.
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Most people don’t even realize the effect of these negative comments or thoughts. The act of saying the negative comment is keeping you from attracting what you want into your life.
Beating yourself up in this manner is extremely disempowering.
Here are some examples of negative things you should stop saying, and how to take your power back by reframing them with more positive, encouraging comments or thoughts.
Don’t say: “I’ll never be good at that” or “I’ll never get that.”
Reframe It: With that attitude, you won’t get it. Instead, believe in yourself and always think positively. Give yourself a pep talk and tell yourself that you CAN do it!
Inch your way to feeling more confident by softening your words. Use words that make you feel good about yourself. For example, say to yourself:
- “I’ve really improved.”
- “I’ve learned a lot and I’m doing pretty good.”
- “I can see myself being good at that.”
Don’t those words bring on a much better feeling than “I’ll never be good at that?” Acknowledging even the smallest step forward is very empowering.
Be happy with where you are, and enjoy the journey to where you’re going. Continue with the pep talks each step along your path.
Focus on what you CAN do, not what you CAN’T do. Be proud and own your strengths.
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Overuse of saying: “I’m sorry!”
Reframe It: Saying I’m sorry when you truly need to apologize is of course a good thing. The “I’m sorry” that needs to stop is over apologizing when no apology is needed in the first place.
I hear this often from women more so than men. It’s said so quickly that I don’t believe they even realize they said it.
The feeling I get when people say this type of “I’m sorry” is they need to work on boosting their self-worth and believe that their opinion is valid and worthwhile.
Hold your head high, shoulders back, and know that you are good just the way you are.
Don’t say: “I’m so fat.”
Reframe It: First, why even say something like that? You’re doing yourself a real disservice because that type of self-defeating comment (or even thought) will likely bring you exactly what you’re saying.
Regardless of your weight or any other characteristic, be kind to yourself. Love yourself “as is.”
Make a list of positive aspects about yourself that have nothing to do with weight. Are you:
Be your best cheerleader!
Get into the habit of acknowledging yourself for:
- Anything you do to improve yourself
- Positive thoughts you have about yourself
- When you have a new awareness that can help you grow as a person
Appreciate your strengths!
To help yourself remember that you are amazing, grab my free printable quote cards. Keep them on your mirror, computer monitor, wallet, or anywhere to act as a reminder to be kind to yourself. The cards are also great to secretly leave for people as an random act of kindness. Sign up here:
Don’t say: “Nothing ever goes right in my life.”
Reframe It: Here again, be careful of what you’re attracting to your life. This attitude will attract failures, not successes.
We all have so much good in our life. Even if you’re at the end of your rope, the sun still rises, plants still grow, and (to steal a saying by Abraham-Hicks) “things are always working out for you.”
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Surround yourself with a circle of support; people who motivate you, help you stay positive, and who will inspire you to grow.
Negative self-talk can keep you from all the great things that life offers, especially from being a happy person who attracts good things into your life.
Putting yourself down with negative self-talk makes you feel powerless, steals your confidence, and increases anxiety. With increased awareness and practice, you can diminish this bad habit that steals your personal power.
RELATED READING: The Truth About Negative Self-Talk and 3 Keys to STOP Its Toxic Effects
Thank you for stopping by my blog. I’d love to know any hints you may have to help people become their best self? Please drop a comment with your tips for the blogosphere.
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6 Replies to “How to Free Yourself From the Bad Habit of Negative Self-Talk”
Love this! Negative self-talk is so dangerous. There’s always a way to reframe and provide a positive perspective that leads to growth!
So true. Going for the positive feels a lot better.
I am really working on having a good body image. My body can do so many amazing things: I walk, I ride bike, aerobic dancing and kayaking to name just a few. I am no Twiggy but I am thrilled that I am healthy, happy and strong enough to do all these great things.
All your sporting has you looking great, Linda. We are due for another Fitbit challenge! 😮
I agree that we need to focus on the positive!
I am so guilty of saying “I’m Sorry” This is an area in my own life that I need to work on thanks for sharing finding out I am not alone
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