Self-Love 101: How to Strengthen Your Relationship With Yourself

    Self-love goes beyond being important – it leads to better relationships (with yourself and others), achieving goals, and feeling awesome. Loving yourself changes everything, and the good news is that self-love is a skill you can develop. But what exactly is self-love and how do you develop it?

    What Does Self-Love Actually Mean?

    Self-love is the act of valuing and appreciating yourself for who you are. For starters, self-love is about:

    • Accepting your strengths and weaknesses without being a harsh judge
    • Being kind to yourself, especially when things get tough
    • Knowing it’s totally okay to put yourself first sometimes, because your well-being matters

    Why is self-love important? In a nutshell, when you feel good about yourself, you’re more likely to stop self-criticism and take action toward your goals and dreams.

    With self-love comes the deep knowing that you’re pretty amazing just the way you are.

    What Happens When We Lack Self-Love?

    When we lack self-love, we tend to be hard on ourselves, always finding faults and feeling like we’re never good enough. That constant negative voice in our heads chips away at our confidence and makes us doubt everything we do.

    Without self-love, we also might end up relying too much on what others think of us, trying to please everyone else instead of staying true to ourselves.

    Life loses its joy when we don’t love ourselves, making it harder to feel happy about achievements or bouncing back from challenging times.

    5 Ways to Develop Self-Love

    Ready to grow your self-love? Here are five simple ways to boost your self-love and celebrate the amazing person you are!

    1. Practice Self-Compassion

    (I put self-compassion first in the list for a reason – it’s important!)

    One of the first steps in developing self-love is to practice self-compassion. This means being kind and understanding towards yourself, rather than judging and criticizing yourself.

    When you make a mistake or fall short of your expectations, try to talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that you are good enough just as you are.

    It’s in these moments that we strengthen our relationship with ourselves, creating a deeper sense of self-love.

    Related Read: The Amazing Value of Self-Compassion and How to Practice It

    2. Set Healthy Boundaries

    Another important aspect of developing self-love is setting healthy boundaries, which means learning to say no to things that deplete your energy or don’t align with your values. Keep your energy for the things that really matter to you!

    Boundaries also include knowing when to say “enough” to people who treat you poorly. It’s like drawing a line to show that you are worthy of respect and that you deserve to be treated well.

    3. Create a Good Self-Care Routine

    Putting priority on intentionally taking care of yourself is the basis for self-care, so it’s a key part of loving yourself. Overall, this precious and necessary time is meant to give you a little breather from the stresses of life.

    Self-care positively affects your mind, body, and soul.

    Thinking you don’t have enough time for self-care is a sign that you’re prioritizing other things above yourself… which is NOT a sign of self-love!

    You find time to take care of others, so put priority on finding time to take care of yourself.

    Check out this great article for more insights on self-care: What is Self-Care and Why is Self-Care Important? 

    4. Be Authentic

    Being real and staying true to who you are is a big way of showing love to yourself.

    When you’re authentic, you’re not trying to be someone you’re not just to fit in or please others. You’re rocking your uniqueness and staying honest about what you like and what you don’t.

    Your honesty about who you are also creates a space for genuine connections and allows those around you to feel comfortable being themselves, too. Authenticity isn’t just a gift to yourself; it’s a gift you share with the world!

    Honor your vibe and celebrate every bit of what makes you, well, you!

    5. Boost Your Inner Joy

    Joy often gets lost in the hustle of daily life. Yet, making yourself feel super happy on the inside is a big part of loving yourself.

    Do things that light up your day, whether it’s dancing to your favorite tunes, spending time with friends who make you laugh, or just taking time for stuff that makes your heart sing.

    Boosting your inner joy is all about giving yourself a mega dose of good vibes!

    For more ideas to boost your inner joy, read my post 5 Easy Ways to Increase Joy in Your Daily Life.

    The Path to Self-Love

    The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.

    C. JoyBell C.

    The path to self-love is as unique as you are. Find what works for you and add it into your daily life, one step at a time. As you start to feel more positive about yourself, you’ll be better able to take action toward your goals and dreams.

    Self-love is an ongoing process and it takes time and effort to develop. But by practicing self-compassion, setting healthy boundaries, engaging in self-care, being authentically you, and boosting your inner joy, you can start to build a foundation of self-love that will serve you well throughout your life.

    Remember to be kind to yourself, and don’t beat yourself up if you slip up. Keep going and keep working on it!

    Do you want personalized guidance for your self-love journey? As a Certified Life Coach, I help you overcome self-doubt, build lasting confidence, and create a fulfilling future filled with joy. Book a FREE strategy call with me and we will design a coaching plan tailored to your unique needs.

    Additional Resource: Do you love Mel Robbins as much as I do? Then you’ll want to watch this podcast episode that she titled: How Do I Learn to Love Myself, Really?