Bored on your job but can’t get yourself to go for a new one? Still beating yourself up for that thing you said? Not going after your dream because you think you’re too old or not good enough? There’s a reason!
What’s stopping you from achieving your dreams?
In one word… fear.
Oh, you don’t think you have fear?
As humans, we all have a fear center in our brain. It’s part of our human neurobiology.
How Fear Works
As a Certified Fearless Living Coach, I help people understand fear and how it makes us behave.
Because once you understand how fear makes you behave in ways that keep you from your goals and dreams, you can then learn how to change your relationship with fear and LIVE FEARLESSLY!
Our brain’s fear center has the job to keep us “safe” and avoid pain (physical AND emotional). Sounds good, yet it treats us like we’re still a children instead of adults who have goals we want to achieve!
Fear remembers all of our past failures and times when we felt stupid, laughed at, and defeated, and it keeps those memories in our subconscious. Then, it uses those memories to stop us from taking action toward our goals and dreams. Even childhood memories are part of fear’s toolbox to stop us from taking action that can make our lives better!
We are left feeling vulnerable and hesitant to take action that’s outside of our comfort zones because it never wants us to possibly feel disappointed, unloved, or embarrassed ever again. Ever! It doesn’t realize that we’re grown adults who have learned from past mistakes and want to achieve goals and dreams.
Fear always shows up when we want to do new things that take us closer to our goals and dreams. If we stay in our comfort zones doing only the same old routine, then fear stays calm.
As long as we allow fear to be in charge of our lives, it will keep us from confidently taking action to get what we want in life. THE LIFE YOU WANT IS NOT IN YOUR COMFORT ZONE!
Fear doesn’t care about your happiness, it just wants to STOP you from trying anything new.
For example, fear doesn’t care that you’re bored on your job. It knows it can keep you “safe” there and it hates the uncertainty of you going for a promotion or going for your dream of starting your own business. Fear doesn’t realize you’re ready to take on new challenges and will learn from mistakes.
To stop us from stepping out of our comfort zones, our brain’s fear center has endless tactics to keep us from going after our dreams and living our best lives.
50 Surprising Ways Fear is Keeping You From the Life of Your Dreams
Based on my studies at the Fearless Living Institute along with my coaching clients, these are some (not all) ways that fear makes us humans feel and behave. They’re technically responses to fear. Ultimately, these tactics can stop us from achieving our goals and attaining our dreams.
- Procrastination
- Perfectionism
- Overwhelm
- Feel depleted
- Negative self-talk
- Comparison to others
- Complaining
- Making excuses
- Not eating enough
- Overeating
- Worry
- Sleep to much
- Insomnia
- Afraid to speak up
- Always put others first
- No self-care routine
- Increased heart rate
- Sweating
- Upset stomach
- Trembling
- Self-doubt
- Disappointment
- Feel victimized
- Blame yourself
- Blame others (boss, parents, ex)
- Wish things were different
- Lack self-trust
- Afraid to try new things
- Stuck in the past
- Unrealistic expectations (of yourself and others)
- Resentment
- Addictive behaviors
- Confused on next step so do nothing
- Won’t ask for help
- Shutdown
- Say yes when you want to say no
- Lying (to yourself and others)
- People pleasing
- Ignore your needs
- Workaholism
- Put yourself down
- Put others down
- Over apologizing
- Self-pity
- Isolating
- Defensiveness
- Impatience
- Playing it safe
- Shame
- Exhaustion
How many in that list have you experienced? I know I definitely have experienced most, if not all.
But you can break free from fear so it no longer controls your life!
Fear is powerful and it keeps us from achieving our goals. Ultimately, fear keeps us stuck in our comfort zone and holds us back from opportunities that can bring great joy to our lives.
But it doesn’t have to be that way! We can build a healthy relationship with fear so we can reach our full potential.
And that’s exactly what I help my clients do.
I help them identify how fear makes them behave, and I give them tools to push past fear so they have the power to bring more ease, confidence, and joy to their lives.
Here’s what one of my clients said:
“In her kind, affirming way, Ellen helped me see that if you aren’t aware of what’s holding you back, you just keep spinning in those old mental patterns, and it is very difficult to move forward. Over the course of our time together, Ellen gave me some valuable tools and strategies to be able to see exactly what thought patterns were holding me back in my life. She also helped me to identify my core strengths, so that I could lean on them to be my best self.” (Read full testimonial.)
Sunil R., WI
Are you ready to understand how fear works and how you can move through and minimize it?
Book a FREE strategy call with me and we will design a plan for you to overcome obstacles that are keeping you from the life you really want.
We all have fear, but it doesn’t have to control our lives.
